Over the weekend, I (alone, should there by any inquiries) went to a local university and rummaged through its many dumpsters, braving many a stench, to bring you this report on a ritual known as Hippy Christmas. Although I don't know whether or not the term has its roots in '60s counter-culture or is just an homage to the cheapskate mentality of the namesakes, either way it has become a ritual of modern higher education.

"Hippy Christmas" is the time of year when tens of thousands of the nation's university students move out of their dorms. In the rush to get the hell out of town, or because college authorities demand that a dorm room be clean when these young, often well-provided for people leave for the summer, students sort through everything they have and invariably throw away many still-useful items. From unopened or unused school supplies to brand-new clothes, from fans with one screw loose to perfectly functional printers, refrigerators, coffee makers, televisions, and more, American students throw it all away.

It's obscene, really, that every year perfectly good and usable things wind up tossed out as trash, but that's where Hippy Christmas comes in. Adherents salvage the goods, the fans, the lamps, the books, the clothing, and a thousand other things that young people toss away as trash, and either use them for themselves or give them away. It may seem a strange ritual, some may even find it nauseating, this dumpter-diving, but it can't be more nauseating that the fact that our college-educated young people have become accustomed to such wastefulness as a birthright.

So, every year, the foolhardy and the brave fan out across the nation's campuses to reclaim what young men and women throw away, to return to use that which was destined for burial, to reduce the sheet tonnage of garbage moving through the wastestream by a tiny fraction.

Really, though, I was just there looking for stuff for my new home. I found more than I expected. At the end of this post, you will find a partial list of items I removed from the dumpsters at a local university, in under 2 hours on one night. It wasn't clean work; heavy boots and long pants are a must, gloves are recommended and a flashlight essential. I didn't even have to tear into trashbags, the best things are often just sitting there beside the dumpsters. And inside the construction-sized dumpsters the goodies are mostly in plain sight. Luckily, the kids only seem to bag up nasty, embarassing things. The rest is just dumped out in boxes or bins.

I wonder sometimes if future archeologists will mine our landfills to understand our times better. What will they think? Perhaps our gigantic trash gravesites will eventually become resource bases for the wretched of the earth, as already happens in many of the world's poorer nations. The things kids -- really, all of us -- throw away are things that the poorest of the poor will likely never have the luxury of seeing. Food from university dumpsters alone could feed thousands (admittedly, it is canned or prepackaged food being thrown away, so maybe the hungry would politely decline...). This food, instead, will either be eaten by rats or worms or will be sealed in the trash, aging like a clay pot from a Native American tribe in a midden of clamshells.

Here, then, is a list, in no specific order, of items I removed from dumpsters at a local university last weekend.

Working HP PSC 1610 All-in-One printer (needs new ink cartridges)

Coffee bean grinder, working

Table lamp, working, bulb good

Small coffee maker, new but dirty

Unopened HPInk cartridge 02 (doesn't fit that printer)

Step trash cans, large (1) and small (1), functional, need thorough decontamination

Flexfit black mesh baseball cap, new with tags

Metal mesh garbage cans, medium sized (3)

Kensington computer backpack, new with tags; backpack included notebooks (2 unwritten in, one for lefties), a Sudoku book, and other odd bits

Unopened packages: Eight (8) "AA" batteries, use-before date 2013; three (3) retractable pens, black and blue ink; 6-outlet wall adapter; set of cable clips(?); Vivera HP Ink cartridge (aforementioned); 2-pack camisole t-shirts, small; closet organizer; two (2) cans Silly String, yellow and black; two (2) dry-erase boards, pens missing; pack of eight (8) Maxell 90-minute blank tapes

A computer bag filled with boxed crackers, ramen noodles, heat & eat soups, microwave popcorn

One box of Fortune Cookies, taped shut, cookies stale, fortunes averaging 50% accuracy

Two doggie treats, in package

Adult-sized Banana costume, lightly used

Small refrigerator, working (needs decontamination)

Iron, lightly used (no ironing board)

Footstool, square (second thing I found, set out by the road)

Tennis racket, in good shape

Computer sub-woofer speaker, state of repair unknown

Soccer ball

Two (2) frisbees, one that lights up in the dark

SHARP brand Wireless Atomic clock, working, needed to be advanced one hour

And, as they say, much, much more...